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Category: love

love

Building and Entertaining Couples

People look for partners to build families with, but pick partners based on how entertaining they are after a few drinks. Both have value, but these are very different relationships.

February 11, 202315 Comments
love, sociology

Why Are Women Hot?

Women are hot to seduce men. This is both plainly true and paradoxically contradicted everywhere men look at women. So what is actually going on?

December 13, 2022December 14, 2022beauty, sex, status16 Comments
love

Date-me, Doc!

Documenting the rise of date-me docs and the decline of resultant dating

September 2, 2022September 2, 202221 Comments
love

Midwit Monogamy

A relationship must sacrifice exclusivity or sacrifice for the sake of exclusivity. Simply feeling entitled to it is a recipe for failure.

April 13, 2022podcast, polyamory14 Comments
love

Selfless Dating

What if you just modeled your partner well enough to do what they would want without needing to ask? And what if you tried this from the first date?

January 2, 2022selfless dating15 Comments
love

10 Reasons You’re Lazy About Dating

Everyone complains that dating isn't working, but no one want to put the work into dating. Here are 10 reasons why.

November 18, 2021November 18, 2021selfless dating21 Comments
love

Consensual Hostility

In a world of conflict between men and women, consent negotiation is required. But the focus on consent to the exclusion of everything else is what brought this world about.

October 11, 2021selfless dating3 Comments
love

Sex Versus

The NYT calls an end to sex-positivity blaming the patriarchy, and the trads agree while blaming the women. But I wouldn't give up on the opposite sex just yet.

October 6, 2021October 12, 2021selfless dating18 Comments
love, memoir

Easily Top 20%

All the dating stories from my previous life that somehow managed not to crush my optimism about romance.

May 30, 2021May 31, 202121 Comments
link post, love

Sex Positivity Is Counter-Cultural

My Quillette article on sex negativity and follow-up thoughts on fuckability, why sex is bad so often, the preservation of ambiguity, and the value of blogs.

May 14, 202116 Comments
love, research

Do Women Like Assholes?

Results from my research project on personality traits and mating success.

June 11, 2020May 26, 2021dating, Nice Guys33 Comments
erisology, hedgehog alert, love, model agency

The Skewed and the Screwed: When Mating Meets Politics

Progressive women complain about men and post hot selfies for Bernie, right-wing guys learn seduction and whine about hypergamy. When politics sets the sexes against each other, it's all about the ratio.

January 26, 2020May 31, 202081 Comments
guest post, love

The Bisexual Woman’s Guide to Dating Women

Most bisexual women only date guys - it's easy, familiar, and accepted. This is where Sana Al-Badri comes in.

January 20, 2020January 20, 202015 Comments
love

Go F*** Someone

People seek being worthy of intimacy more than they seek intimacy. That's not a good thing.

January 13, 2020May 4, 2020dating26 Comments
love, model agency, rationality

Polyamory is Rational(ist)

Are Rationalists just a polyamory community? And if not, what explains the connection between the two? I dig deep into the data, and reach some unexpected conclusions.

October 16, 2019February 26, 2020polyamory39 Comments
book review, love

The State of Affairs

A book about rethinking infidelity offers an opportunity to rethink modern marriage and the paradox at the heart of it.

April 30, 2019September 30, 201910 Comments
love

Geoffrey Miller on Polyamory and Mating

The third part of an extensive interview with Dr. Geoffrey Miller covers jealousy, polyamory, marriage, and mating.

June 20, 2018March 26, 2020dating, polyamory17 Comments
life, love

Winning is for Losers

Life is all about competition, and competitions are all about winning. Unless they don't have to be.

October 11, 2017January 24, 2020competition, cooperation, dating29 Comments
life, love, rationality

How to Choose a Goddess (Using a Spreadsheet)

For the hardest choices we make in life, our gut is not enough. We also need a chart with numbers in it.

March 12, 2017April 13, 2019evaluation matrix52 Comments
hedgehog alert, love

Love and Nice Guys

Are Nice Guys just guys who are nice? If so, why can't they get a date and what can a BDSM class teach them? And what does this all have to do with bell curves?

March 23, 2016May 17, 2017dating, feminism, Nice Guys, PUA31 Comments

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